thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
my being single is dangerous.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
