i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
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Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
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When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
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Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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