If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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