i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
