tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
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The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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