I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
