i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
no you cant smoke seaweed
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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