operation have a gay friend backfired
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
