Having a random hookup so left but love u
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
