I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
where are my pants?
in the oven.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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