My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
