i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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