he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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