Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
