I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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