Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
