as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You pole danced in your parka.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
