Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
