We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
