Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
