One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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