why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
