Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
