I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
