I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
