A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
