Fuck appropriateness.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
