I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
