I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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