I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
