an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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