weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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