But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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