The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
tell me about the fingering
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