new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
