the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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