she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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