HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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