So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
