just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
