OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
