Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
