So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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