he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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