I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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