who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
