don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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