hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize
