At least make sure they are 18
Why
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
