My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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