I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
