This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
