We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
ttyl tear gas
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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