so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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