Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
