New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
