there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
